Do I have more of CCC or am I deceiving myself?

Captain Ergin's log (Earth calendar 2014, October 24, 10:16 CET)

My day started rather interesting this morning. The events were all very normal events, nothing really unusual about them. The interesting part was how I handled them, so let me walk you thru my morning

- around 07:00 CET I get up, breakfast and coffee, like any other normal day at home.

- 07:30 brush my teeth and thinking about what I will do today, looking at the thermometer, 6,2 degrees centigrade, 76% humidity, the trees wave as the wind blows outside.

- 07:41 I turn on my laptop to prepare for my meeting which will start at 09:00. I see an e-mail from the person I am going to have the meeting, which he sent 07:23 that he had to prioritize other things so he had to cancel the meeting.

- 07:42 I confirm his e-mail and propose a few new dates and times to setup a new meeting. If this was say 6 months ago I would have been frustrated but not this morning.

It's some where here I started re planning my morning and decided to go for a power walk. I put on

clothes and shoes and at 08:03 exactly I was outside. I knew I was prepared for the meeting and there wasn't much else I could do. I instead decided to take the chance to something I needed to do, my training for Kilimanjaro and went for it. So far so good, as I was warming up I was more aware of the weather, wind and humidity. This wasn't the the first time I was out for a walk or a run in this kind of weather. This was the FIRST TIME I was going for a walk in this kind of weather LOOKING FORWARD to it. I had a smile and I was already feeling energized. In the forest, along my path there were a lot of water, which I used to have an excuse for not going out this kind of weather, but today I saw them as challenges and opportunities to train my balance and jumps. My feet got a little wet and it was not a problem at all.

During the walk which lasted around 1 hours and 40 minutes I had a lot to think and remember a quote from Robin Sharma, "At the heart of mastery lives consistency." This was the first of the three C's I was thinking of. Was I more consistent than before. I have been committed to my training sessions and psychically feeling great.

I also started thinking about if I was taking my decisions more consciously,  the second of three C's. I recently changed my path in life, trying to find my way in a for me totally new arena and find my "right to exist". All the decisions I have been taking the last few weeks, were they more conscious or were they taken randomly. I have met a lot of very interesting and inspiring new people. I also discovered that many of the people I know had ideas and thoughts I wasn't aware of. This awareness was it because of me or was it gonna happen any way?

Was I more courageous?  The third of the 3 C's. A few days ago I have delivered my first all way workshop for a customer in Visby, Gotland. I started with "Min resa" and continued with "Diversity awareness workshop". I was happy how the whole day went and so was the customer, a group of 30 HR specialists. A few minutes before I was going to start, I turned on the song I listen to get into stage mode and being stage ready. I felt great and happy, to be among 30 people I never met before, all experts in their profession.

I recently heard "we don't get more courageous, we get better at showing our courage". These few words reminded me that I wasn't more courageous, I was getting better at showing my courage in some circumstances. The fact that I have been preparing for a long time, by reading many articles, watching countless Youtube films, discussions with experts and friends, did help me to ground myself.

With this experience I will have the courage to book meetings with potential customers and/or partners.

May be I have a dash of more CCC, consistency, making conscious decisions and better at showing courage. Or may be I am just deceiving myself, only time will tell.

A penny for your thoughts on "circle of life" and "gravity"

In a matter of days the season change is very obvious where we live. As I went out for a walk yesterday, the 11th of October 2014, the rich colors were all around me. I was surrounded with with thousands shades of brown, yellow and green. I realized I was at the front seat and observing two (2) profound rules of life as we know it.
1- Gravity, as the mild wind was giving the last gentle push needed for leafs to their last dance as they slowly and elegantly flew around and softly land on the ground.
2- Circle of life, as the falling leafs, branches and trees were providing the means necessary of all the other living things to feast, nurture and regenerate life.

 I took a picture and posted it in my fb-page, with some comments of CIRCLE OF LIFE and GRAVITY. I knew that there were more things to be looked into and elaborated. I needed definitions as well as a way to explain my thoughts on these phenomenon. So at home I googled for it and found these definitions;

Cirlcle of Life: Nature's way of taking and giving back life to earth. It symbolizes the universe being sacred and divine. It represents the infinite nature of energy, meaning if something dies it gives new life to another.

Gravity: The natural force of attraction between any two massive bodies, which is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.

It started thinking about of these two profound powers and rules would also apply to relations in our lives. These rules govern everything in the infinite universe as we know. We now know that out there wild explosions of giant stars give birth to a nebula which is the birth place of many new stars planets, moons and so on. Everything goes in circles, the galaxies, solar systems, moons. I was now thinking about what and where our own role is, and our place in this infinite nature. And how about how everything in the universe is one way or another effected by gravity and celestial bodies circle around each other.

It was hard, if not impossible, to try to make a good analogy and I decided to give a try anyway. I hope you can bear with me just a little longer and share your wisdom with me on these powers and rules.

If that's the case that circle of life and gravity play role in our relations I end up with many questions and very few answers? Here are some I would like to know;

• Around whose gravity (love and care) you're circling around? Who is your sun, if you were the earth? Who is your earth if you were the moon? Is the attraction of your masses (gravity) in perfect balance?
• As the moons gravity give earth it's axis tilt which make seasons possible, how about your seasons and circle of life? Do you have emotional winters, summers, springs and autumns? Do you enjoy each and everyone of these seasons?
• If you were the planet and end up in the gravity of a black hole, result of a giant star explosion, which sucks everything and nothing, not even light can escape, are you able to detect that destructive force in time? And let's say do the discover that fact you're pretty close to this "emotional black hole relation" what do you do?
• If our relations were in fact also under the influence of circle of life, falling leafs and dying trees, do they provide what's needed for new relations in time? If one relation, whether it's a love relation or friendship, if you loose or choose to leave the relation, do "infinite nature of energy" equip us to go on to new relations? If it's so when we break up and/or end a friendship, is to be perceived as a good thing since we both will have access to "infinite nature of energy" to build new relations and friendships?
• If you eventually find your celestial body and you both happily revolve around each other, are we still at the mercy of universe's violent powers? When a new larger body shows up with more gravity than you could ever imagine, how does that affect the gravity and attraction in your relation?
• If you were the planet like earth with one moon and you think that's fine. If you were like Jupiter and/or Saturn with tens of moons with different properties, what does that mean to you? 
  
• Sometimes destructive forces give birth to a beauty we all admire. Saturn's rings are result of collision of former moon(-s) and asteroids. As the light is reflected they put up a beautiful show. Do a destructive relations end can give birth to a beauty we can admire eventually?

I am no longer sure if I make any sense at all and that's fine. You may be also thinking why do I go these lengths in my effort to find answers to these two phenomenon, "circle of life" and "gravity". Well, it's fun, developing and enriching to analyse the whole concept and also I like good metaphors ans analogies.

No matter what, everyone of us have the ability and responsibility to our own gravity (love and care). We also are smart and clever enough to understand, employ and maintain our own circle of life (notion that if something dies it gives new life to another) in our relations.

A sensitive and caring significant other and/or friend should always be in a place which is far enough so have his/her trust, comfort, freedom is always present and at the same time feel his/hers unconditional "gravity". He/she also knows at whenever he/she is in need of your gravity, you'll be there in an instant to support and to listen. He/she is always prepared to be there for you when you need his/hers gravity and he/she is happy knowing your circle of life is in perfect balance.

So, a penny for your thoughts. Feel free to join in and share your wisdom with me and others who bother to read this. Have a great Sunday! 

I am more optimistic than ever before...

This week, the be precise week 40 of year 2014, I have had the pleasure and privilege to visit two (2) schools in my home county, Södertälje. I met young minds whom have future plans and a lot of questions. They see a lot of opportunities in the future and for them diversity is a given fact of life. They daily interact youngsters at their own age from different cultures at school and they play online games with friends all around the world. They also had environmental and social awareness which was impressing in these trying times.

My task was to explain for them what is meant to be an entrepreneur in a way to that they could relate to it. I saw that they have many ideas and dreams for their future and some had started to work with their business plans.

I am optimistic for the future. I think in the future we don't need to explain for enterprise management teams how diversity can enhance product development, sales and profitability.  I am sure that the workplaces will be more diverse and including and the simplest things we fight for will be considered as obvious. I am convinced that these leaders and entrepreneurs of the future will strive for sustainable business practices and thereby will have the competitive edge against the enterprises whom are merely looking the keep the status quo.

I am optimistic for the future. I would like to believe that there's a thing called karma and hope that all the good deeds will somehow bring back some good fortune to those whom have been unselfish. I am sure that people around those unselfish ones recognize the desirable qualities and support them in any way they can. I am convinced that if they had the means, time and opportunity they would like to join forces to change the world for the better.

I hope to continue to visit schools and meeting youngsters because it's also very refreshing and energizing for me. The feedback is great and the questions are though. I am looking forward to my next assignment which is at Husbygård school the 14th of October 2014. :-)

Have a great day!

Är jag också en så'n som...

Till och börja med, VI är jag och några av mina vänner... Häromdagen träffades vi, i samband med återträffen för IFL VT-10. På väg hem efter middagen var jag både nöjd och lite fundersam.

Vad mycket vi tar det givet i våra liv, både privat och professionellt. Det var bra med det, lite eftertänksamhet skadar väl inte, fram tills idag.

Jag hälsade på UF-lärare på Torekällsgymnasiet i Södertälje. Vi skulle träffas för första gången och när jag kom fram mötte jag två av hennes kollegor. I deras rum var såg jag en bild och en kollegorna sa att han gick bort nyligen. Jag tittade på bilden lite mer noggrant och såg att en av deras kollegor gick bort bara ett par veckor sedan, vid 43 års åldern, pga en hjärtinfarkt. Jag kunde inte säga annat än; "Livet är ju banne mig inte rättvist", "Beklagar sorgen".

Själva mötet gick bra och jag ska tillbaka tisdagen den 30:e september för att hälsa på föreläsa en av UF-klasserna. Jag tog mig till ett affärsmöte i Farsta, framme något tidigare och passar på att skriva dessa rader. Det är lika bra att skriva och publicera denna inlägg tänker jag. Vad som helst kan hända när som helst.

När jag, efter mitt möte ska sätta mig bilen för att köra till Arlanda, för att sedan sätta mig i flyget till London, ska jag ringa till några av mina nära kära. Man vet aldrig vad som kan hända.

Är det så att jag också tar människor givet i mitt liv? Det kanske jag gör, kanske inte. Jag får helt enkelt tänka på det oftare. Idag blev jag påmind av det faktum att det som inte får hända, kan hända och det händer. Det bästa sättet att hantera nog är att dela sina tankar och funderingar med sina kära, nära, barn, vänner och kanske till och med kollegor.

Det var allt från Farsta denna gång. Hade fortsatt trevligt. Jag hoppas att se några av dig/er på min föreläsning vid biografen Zita på måndag, den 29:e september. Hej så länge! Allt gott!!!

...storleken spelar ingen roll...

"Det finns inga stora handlingar. Det finns bara små handlingar med mycket kärlek" har Moder Teresa sagt. Jag läste denna citat, jag läste det igen och var tvungen att lägga undan boken ett tag. Det slog mig att jag, förmodligen som många andra, planerade och genomförde stora handlingar (in english BIG GESTURE) eftersom jag levde i tron att dessa räknades mer. Plötsligt, denna citat, dessa 13 ord förändrade hela mitt tänkande. Det var en s.k. paradigmskifte för mig.

I våra relationer med våra barn, med våra käraste, med våra föräldrar och på jobbet försöker vi utmärka oss med stora handlingar, det var iaf vad jag gjorde. Visst gjorde man även små handlingar MEN jag levde i tron att dem gjorde ingen skillnad. För att vara extra tydlig levde jag i tron att små hanligarna gav INGEN poäng och stora handlingarna gav MASSOR av poäng. Självklart förenklar jag det hela för att göra det hela lite mer begriplig.

I våra relationer har vi alltid specifika områden med utmaningar och vi försöker adressera desssa specifika områden i vår strävan att finna lösningar. Målet att hitta samförstånd. Vi förklarar, diskuterar och sedan kommer vi fram till en gemensam förståelse. Det är så även i arbetslivet i våra uppdrag. Vi diskuterar priset, innehållet, tidplanen, resurserna/budgeten och visst helheten är viktigt och vi förmår inte riktigt att lyfta oss till en nivå då vi diskuterar helheten. För att göra det ännu krångligare finns även andra saker som aldrig nämns och självklart ingår dessa i våra uppdrag. Ingen nämner dessa och på något sätt känner man vid leveransen, visst höll vi prisnivån, innehållet var bra, tidplanen var också bra och resurserna/budgeten var i linje med prognosen MEN det är inte riktigt bra ändå.

Nu förstår jag varför det är så. Längst vägen, hela mitt liv hade jag missat massor av "poäng" eftersom jag levde i tron att små handlingarna räknades inte. Det viktiga inte VAD jag gjorde utan, det viktiga var mina intentioner. Det skulle alltså räcka lång med små handlingar MED MYCKET KÄRLEK och OMTANKE. Det kan till och med vara så att dessa små handlingar är egentligen betyder MER än stora handlingar alltså ger bättre utdelning. För första inser jag att  storleken spelar ingen roll...

• stora handlingar = existerar inte
• små handlingar MED mycket kärlek = resultat, poäng, utdelning! :-)

Jag vet inte, om du har orkat att läsa så här långt. Jag förstås raljerar en hel del och är efter mina 48 levnadsår är väl medveten om att de små handlingarna betyder mycket, med ett villkor, små handlingarna måste innehålla MASSOR av KÄRLEK. Det tog ett bra tag för mig komma fram till det. Jag vill gå nu ännu ett steg och hävdar att varje dag börjar vi från NOLL. Vi ska vara medvetna om vikten att göra varje handling så kärleksfull så möjligt. Det kan handla om koka té/kaffe, frukost, städning, tvätt eller hur vi tittar på TV tillsammans hemma i soffan. På jobbet kan det handla om hur vi bemöter varandra, våra hälsningsfraser, hur/var/när/med vilka vi fikar, snackar eller inte fikar, snackar.

Det är vi själva som skapar det tillstånd vi lever i, inte någon annan. Det är vi som bestämmer hur vi bemöter våra barn, våra käraste, våra föräldrar, våra kollegor på jobbet och våra kunder. Låt Moder Teresa visa vägen till dig. Läs igen hennes citat, denna gång på engelska för att undvika en potentiell missförstånd; "There are no great acts. There are only small acts done with great love".

Med detta nyvunna kunskap kunde jag läsa vidare min bok. När jag skrev min journal blev det ett långt inlägg. Jag lade till ett antal påminnelser till mig själv i almanackan för att läsa just dagens inlägg några gånger under dem kommande veckorna. :-)

Fantastisk land vi lever i...

Imorse låg dimman intensivt i Enhörna. Det var också kallt när jag hämtade tidningen. Lugnet och stillheten var påtaglig, solen försökte bryta genom, som sagt försökte...

Vilken fantastiskt land vi lever i, några av oss födda, andra har hittat hit på olika sätt. Oavsett hur uppskattar vi alla dessa stunder, där naturen visat sig från sitt bästa sida.

I stunder som dessa, spelar det mindre roll hur det gick på valet, vilka som skall regera i kommunen, i landstinget eller i landet. I stunder som dessa ska jag försöka öva mina nyvunna kunskaper tänkte jag. Jag satt på musiken, av Mevlana, i nedre våningen, det var tidigt på morgonen så drog ner ljudet så det knappt hördes, ville inte väcka någon annan. En våra katter kom att satt sig bredvid. Jag tog fram boken som jag fick i present av min bästa vän och läste ett par kapitlar. Jag började skriva min journal. Jag försökte att skriva på ett sätt som skulle möjliggöra att jag skulle minnas just denna stunden när jag läste just dagens inlägg i min journal om några månader. Jag skrev ner hur det kändes i kroppen när jag gick ut, hur dimman omfamnade mig nästan, om dofterna och gräset, om ljuden från och fåglarna, om den bedårande naturen och de få men fallande löven.

Jag fick nya insikter igår, japp, flera stycken. Jag skrev ner så att jag skulle begripa det när jag läste det igen. Jag funderade på hur jag resonerade. Om det berodde på min bakgrund, kön, nationalitet, uppväxt, yrke eller mitt sociala nätverk.

Jag också reflekterade över IFL återträffen vi hade med klasskamraterna. Det var mycket att ta in. Vad mycket eller lite som har hänt sedan sist, beroende på vilket mått vi använde. Vad mycket eller lite vi kunde påverka det som händer oss själva, våra nära och kära, i våra arbetsplatser, i våra samhällen och i den fantastiska land vi lever i.

Perception, dvs hur vi uppfattar det som händer runt om kring oss öpnnar möjligheter. I allt som händer kan vi antingen bli förvånade, bestörtade, besvikna och till slut ger upp ELLER så väljer vi alla analysera, förstå och tar sats för att bidra till en bättre värld med varje små handling. Läs citaten nedan och fundera lite på vad det kan betyda för dig...

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”
― W.B. Yeats 

När nu solen sakta bryter fram och dimman lättar kommer jag ägna mig att "vässa" mina sinnen för att se det magiska som händer där ute.

Visst, det finns utmaningar, områden där mycket behöver ses över. Vi alla kan agera för att göra det hela lite bättre, oavsett hur det gick på valet, hur du röstade, hur dem som i min valdistrikt röstade och i kommunen, landstinget och landet röstades. Jag ska börja med att säga hej till någon som jag inte känner idag. Jag ska hjälpa en främling idag. Jag ska ringa en vän som jag inte ringde på länge idag. Jag ska äta lunch med en god vän idag. Jag ska träffa ett antal ungdomar som går i universitet och ville göra goda insatser. Vilken fantastisk dag det kommer att bli.

Jag kanske gör andra saker också. Vem vet, jag kanske ringer dig också fast vi pratades vid, till och med träffades igår. Ännu hellre, du kanske du vill slå mig en pling. Du kanske vill hälsa på din mamma idag, din syster, din före detta kollega eller chef. Vi lever i ett fantastiskt land och det ska vi säga högt till varandra tycker jag.

Nya kunskaper, nya erfarenheter, nya människor...

Denna vecka var lika intensiv som den före. Dagarna har gått riktigt fort och jag har hunnit med att skaffa mig nya kunskaper, nya erfarenheter, framförallt träffat massor av nya, insprirerande och energi givande människor.

Måndags träffades några av Sunshine Boyz vid Pampas Marina för att spika de sista detaljerna inför nästa vecka IFL återträff. Jag också passade på förbereda mig inför tisdagens heldags workshop om presentationsteknik.

Tidigt på tisdag morgon var jag laddad och nyfiken om vad mer jag skulle kunna göra för att kunna vässa mina presentationer. Jag var glad och mycket överaskad hur lätt jag kunde förbättra mina presentationer. Vi fick välbehövlig hjälp och struktur från Presentationsteknik. Förutom dem människor som jag träffade var det viktigaste budskapet "SPIKA INLEDNINGEN!".

Onsdags började jag dagen med att Ungföretagsamhet, som är en ideel organisation för att informera ungdomar om företagande. Mycket trevligt och givande möte och jag hoppas verkligen att kunna hitta samverkans former. Jag hann med äta lunch med en god vän som jag inte har träffat på länge och diskuterade hur vi människor kunde skapa förutsättningar för varandra. Direkt efter tog jag en promenad med min bästa vän vilket var previs det jag behövde. Körde sedan till Rönneberga gård i Lidingö för Talarträffen. Träffade massor av mäsnniskor med så mcyket energi, glädje och lust att dela med sig sina kunskaper och erfarenheter. Ser redan framemot nästa träff med dem.

Igår, torsdags började jag omsätta mina nyvunna kunskaper om presentationsteknik och spelade in min föreläsning ett par gångeroch det känns riktigt bra. Jag kommer att SPIKA INLEDNINGEN. Tack Andreas. Alla som håller presentationer någon gång MÅSTE gå till denna utbildning.

Idag, fredag, hade jag precis ett samtal med en medmänniska från Göteborg. Han har försökt med sina medel för att skapa bättre förutsättningar där han verkar. Det gav massor av energi. Tack tackar och bockar honom ödmjukast.

Nästa vecka kommer också vara intentisvt. Hoppas att vi springer på varandra! Cya! Ber careful out there!

Första veckan som social entreprenör...

Det är fredag och indiansommaren gör livet lite enklare. Första veckan som social entreprenör skall läggas till handlingarna och det har börjat bra, även med mina egna hårda krav mätt.

Måndagen den 1:e september hade vi gäster från Luleå regionen i min hemkommun, Södertälje. Under mötet delade Södertälje Kommun och Arbetsförmedlingen sina erfarenheter av K2 projektet som avslutades innan sommaren.

Det finns utmaningar med att informera och övertyga alla intressenter om att mångfald kan bli en välbehövlig injektion och konkurrensmedel. Det kräver av oss alla att ta reda på fakta och föra en saklig diskussion.

Många ungdomar och nyanlända vill inget hellre än att få vara produktiv och bli integrerad i samhället.

Tisdag morgon började jag med att gå till Luleå regionens frukost. Jag hann med knyta några nya kontakter och bokade ett antal möten under dem kommande veckorna.

Onsdag morgon var det dags för ännu en wake-up seminar som arrangerades av IFL. Johannes Hansen pratade om att vara modig och hur man kunde tränas sig bli modig. Det var en mycket energi givande och inspirerande föreläsning. Jag fick med mig några tips och ett par nya kontakter.

Torsdag, alltså igår hade jag ett möte med IFL och blev glad att ännu en föreläsning bokades för Företagsledning som startar mars 2015. Det ser jag framemot. Det som var mycket glädjande var att jag fick del av feedback för min första föreläsning, i stället för recensera det, klipper jag bara in  kommentarerna;

• Grymt imponerad av hans resa! bra föredrag/ jordnära!
• Han gav energi.
• Härligt att se en person om inte är rädd! Här ser jag skillnader mellan honom och mig själv. Ergin gav mig perspektiv på vad som är viktigt i livet!
• Vilken fantastisk inspiratör! Det var jätteskönt att kunna bryta av det ganska introverta sökandet i sig själv med en person som strålar av självförtroende och en vilja av att allt går.
• Ergins resa är häftig och ger hopp för framtiden. Hur svårt kan det va? En skön kick i rätt läge. Kan skapa viss distans att resan är så pass “lång” för egen del. Kan ibland vara svårt att identifiera sig med en liknande resa.
• imponerande modig person som vågar!
• Vilken inspiratör……
• Kul inspel och viktigt att se att vi människor har olika utmaningar och drivkrafter.
• Härlig inställning!
• Härlig insperatör. “Hur svårt kan det vara”
• Otroligt intressant, snacka om att gå utanför komfortzonen, inget är omöjligt “det är bara att bestämma sig”
• Tänk vad vi kan åstadkomma alla människor – wow – inspirerande och fantastisk resa

Idag, på fredag har jag ett antal möten, med bl a Svenska Spel och Bilprovningen. Dagen kommer att avslutas med en fika med Pelle Törnberg. Det ser jag framemot. :-)

Jag hann även med träffa några goda vänner och sådana möten ger massor av energi. Tack!

Jag hoppas och tror att dem kommande veckorna blir det ännu mer innehåll, fler möten med intressanta och inspirerande människor. Om du är nyfiken, slå en pling eller skicka några rader till mig. Det är i mänskliga möten drömmar förvandlas till handlingar som förändrar välden. 

Challenge established patterns for "Implementing Change Powerfully and Successfully"

Today, 1st of September 2014, it was my new beginning. I will, from today and onward, call myself a social entrepreneur. I have founded DIVersity INITiative Sweden with the soul purpose to promote diversity and inform companies and organisations that it can and will be a factor in this competitive business world.

Wikipedia's description for social entrepreneurship is "Social entrepreneurship is the process of pursuing innovative solutions to social problems. More specifically, social entrepreneurs adopt a mission to create and sustain social value. They draw upon appropriate thinking in both the business and nonprofit worlds and operate in a variety of organizations: large and small; new and old; religious and secular; nonprofit, for-profit, and hybrid.
Business entrepreneurs typically measure performance in profit and return, but social entrepreneurs also take into account a positive return to society. Social entrepreneurship typically furthers broad social, cultural, and environmental goals and is commonly associated with the voluntary and not-for-profit sectors. Profit can at times also be a consideration for certain companies or other social enterprises."

In this new period, I am keen to get to know others and their initiatives. I am looking forward to pick their brains and learn more about their motivation and drivers. Mine is very simple, I have committed myself to find solutions which lead to more and sustainable jobs for young people and those whom run away from war and are here to create a new life for themselves. Taking on this humongous challenge can be overwhelming, I am very aware of that. Therefore I will be selective and try to find cooperation with companies and/or organisations that are curious and have an open mind when it comes to diversity.

When doing all this, I can help but thinking what Mel Gibson once said "It's a wise man who understands that every day is a new beginning, because boy, how many mistakes do you make in a day? I don't know about you, but I make plenty. You can't turn the clock back, so you have to look ahead." I hope to minimize the number for mistakes and deeply hope that such mistakes have effects only me. Learning from our mistakes is differentiate us from other beings, therefore I am asking now you a favor. If, oh sorry, WHEN I do A mistake, please be patient and break it to me kindly and gently. I would like to learn from it and hopefully I don't repeat that in the future, not often anyway. :-)

Another saying that I read the other day belongs to Edward de Bono whom once said "Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way." We need to be creative to find new solutions to this big challenge. If it was easily solved we would not hear about this in the news and media everyday.

I therefore am going to be in CHALLENGE MODE with the people I meet so that we can together look that things in a different matter that the established patterns. Will be enough? Certainly not. How do we achieve change and get any measurable results then? Let me finish this post with sharing with you Kotter's 8-Step Change Model for Implementing Change Powerfully and Successfully;

1. CREATE URGENCY
2. FORM A POWERFUL COALITION
3. CREATE A VISION FOR CHANGE
4. COMMUNICATE THE VISION
5. REMOVE OBSTACLES
6. CREATE SHORT-TERM WINS
7. BUILD ON THE CHANGE
8. ANCHOR THE CHANGES IN CORPORATE CULTURE

I was a lot of impressions for me today, so I am going to stop here. Hope you find this post interesting. Pls share your views with me and everyone else with your comments.

Which holding pattern is holding you back...

It has been awhile since the last time I wrote, not that anyone missed it. Anyhow, lately I have been thinking about holding patterns in our personal lives, at work, in our relations with family and loved ones, in our community and society and in the world.

Let's start with the definition of "holding pattern";

Noun	1.	holding pattern - a state of inaction with no progress and no change; "you should go into a holding pattern until he gets over his disappointment" inaction, inactiveness, inactivity - the state of being inactive
	2.	holding pattern - the flight path (usually circular) maintained by an aircraft that is awaiting permission to land air lane, skyway, airway, flight path - a designated route followed by airplanes in flying from one airport to another

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2012 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

I will continue with a a story (it may be apocryphal but it’s a great story anyway) about a frog being put in a beaker of boiling water. Not surprisingly, he jumps out instantly and survives. When that same frog was placed in a beaker of room temperature water in which the temperature was slowly increased over time, he stayed in the beaker as the temperature slowly rose to the boiling point and he was cooked to death.

We are not much smarter than frogs in many aspects of our lives since we have have remarkable powers of adaptation. And this is a good thing. We can adapt to an incredibly wide range of conditions as the circumstances of our environment change, as they often do. If these changes come about gradually, our powers of adaptation can work much more effectively than if the changes are more sudden. There is, however, a downside to this ability to adjust to changing circumstances, and that is that we may inadvertently adapt to conditions that are dangerous and even life-threatening when the changes are so subtle that we don’t realize that we’re being overcooked. It’s better after all to avoid or jump out of some things rather than to tolerate them.

How do we make the paradigm shift to identify holding patterns? I believe it's a matter of awareness and to do that we need to acquire new set of tools in our tool belts. We need to be able to look at ourselves, our relations, our work, our community, our society and the world we live in from different perspectives and not to be scared of what we eventually find, discover. Sometimes the things we discover are annoying, harsh, ugly and we have no idea how we ended up here.

Let me be more specific, we all want to be able to keep our health and be fitter. We all understand the fact that keeping your body fit is essential to be able enjoy all aspects of life, and somehow that notion is not always transferred into actions. Many, including myself, from time to time take on habits which are not so good for our bodies, even harmful ones.

In our relationships, whether with someone we care, like a family member or someone we dearly love so that it from time to time hurts, we seem to manage to get our relations in to undesirable states. We slowly but surely stop doing small things in our everyday lives and we are than surprised when the reality finally hits us.

At work, we work hard to get to positions and/or assignments and from the beginning we know that we need to work hard to show everyone that we deserve those positions and assignments. I am not saying that it's so with everyone, but every so often we find ourselves feeling mistreated at work because we didn't get the raise we thought we deserve, we were not asked for the position we simply think we so deserve, and so it goes.

In our community and society, we find ourselves complaining about things which we think happened over night, when in reality small changes in politics have resulted in for us unimaginable human perceptions. We have hard time to finding ourselves a standing point for our opinions and it's always someone else who needs to do things. How often do we go and demonstrate for or against an idea and/or ideology? Slowly but surely we accept, with our lack of initiative and inaction, to live in a colder, inhuman community, society and world.

Am I smarter than the frog? Will I be able to make the paradigm shift which requires me to seek for and dig deep to find out my own "holding pattern(-s)"? I don't know about you, I know I have had a few and I am sure I still do. No matter how hard the truth is I am willing to do what I need to do to find my holding patterns. Therefore I am asking you next time we meet feel free to bring up your point of view on things which you think are my holding pattern(-s).

I want to live a happy, healthy and rewarding life. I am willing to challenge myself to do and to be better, whatever that may mean and whatever that may be. I want to be helpful to others and I want to learn to be helped. Am I asking too much? That may be? How about totally the opposite? What if I am asking too little? What if I and we all achieve more and we can do that everyday?

Cya around! Take good care and be safe. I hope you take time to make comments, either here in text or directly to my face, and why not at work, at home and on the mirror.

I love good analogies....

Those of you whom know me for sometime know by now that I love good analogies and metaphors. My wife this morning, the 17th of June, told me "no sun today, all day". Well, it's actually not true when you think of it for just a second, the sun shines, always, the clouds are in the way and block the sun beams sp that they cannot reach where we are. It's sunny weather in many other places, in Malaga, Antalya, Istanbul, Baghdad, Cairo, San Francisco and so on. It's "sunny" above Stockholm also, it's just that the clouds are in the way.

Now to my analogy, our personalities are like the sun and our moods are like the clouds. The personality always shine and our moods are sometimes in the way so we are perceived by around as moody, angry, sad and even annoying.

Some personalities are warmer than others. A few of the people that I happen to know, not more that the fingers in one of my hands when I count, have personalities that shine more and their sun beams reach regardless of how cloudy it is. I wish there were more of these people around and many more of us could have the privilege to spend some time with these people. They carry a long an aura and it's pleasant to be around in their atmosphere. They have their own weather system and no matter where they go and/or what they do, people around them feel safe, comfortable, loved and appreciated. In a day like this I wish I get to see one of these few friends and let them know that their personality mean a lot to time.

You may now be thinking what the hell is he talking about, I don't get it, so be it. If you on the other hand understand what I am talking about, lift up your phone and make a phone call to your own sun, send a short message (SMS) or an e-mail, let that special person know that his/her personality mean a lot to you. I am convinced the notion will increase their energy and and the nuclear reactions will intensify and will warm even more people.

Remember that we are all stardust. All new stars are born when an old star dies and becomes a nebula. When the nebula collapse, it will give birth to a new star, a new sun, which will shine for a long looong time...

Enough from me for today. Cya!

Priorities - important to get them straight!

Early this morning, 8th of May 2014, as I was on my way to first meeting of the day, 07:20 in the morning, at Drottningsgatan in Stockholm, out of Hennes & Mauritz, people, mostly young women were queuing in this rainy day. They simply needed to be there, it was vital for them.

I couldn't help myself reflecting on that, as I continued towards Stureplan where I needed to be very soon.

It brought back memories from my youth. Some of you have already heard when I do public speaking about "My journey". Among other  things I also talk about the military coup in Turkey in 1980 and necessities like bread, butter, meat, electricity and water were ransomed. This meant that most of my early teenage years went by with going up early to stand in queu for life's necessities. I can't remember for how long exactly but it was for a long time. I am still today doing alsmot everything that I can to avoid queuing for anything.

When I reflect back to those days, I am very thankful. We at least had something to queu for, we had expectations, we had hope. We, well parents, had money so that they could buy those necessities.

It's sad to know that today, the same day, 8th of May 2014, in places not so far away from us, may be in your neighborhood there are those whom have lost the most essential neccesity of them all, they've lost hope. They are left with resenment for the system, for the politicians and unfortunatily for humanity.

It's important to get your priorities straight.Some of us queu for fashion clothes, some for newest gadgets, some for necessities and some just do none of the above.

Well, it's not an happy ending this time, I have no moral message or a quick fix. So it's all up to you this time. What do we do to instate hope for those whom need it most? Feel free to share your point of views.

Cya!

I dare you to take a stand against "lagom". Who is with me?

I have lived in Sweden over 20 years and was introduced to "lagom" phenomenon. In theory it all sounds great to do things "lagom" in your life, in your work place, training and so on. The challenges is to determine how much "lagom" is lagom for each and everyone of us in every given situation.

In later years I have started having difficulties with "lagom". My own personal conclusion is "lagom" is how the community imposes it's own set of values to box you into a shape you don't want to be. If you are only inches away from "lagom" you're heading to the wrong direction, according to those whom cannot help to put their nose into others lives.

I am all for living the life to the fullest. Why should I settle for "lagom", "just the right amount" in many areas of my life when we can pursue and achieve greatness?

I want my food to taste fabulous, not lagom. I love when I can cook a dish where I mix hot, spicy, sour and sweet and appreciate all the tastes. I love the exotic dancing of the flavors and the feelings they give me, believe me it's far from lagom.

When I am around someone I dearly care about, my family or my dearest friends, I want him/her/them to feel the way I feel. I want him/her/them to know that they bring meaning to my life, they make life worth living. I want him/her/them to feel great about themselves too, because that's how they make me feel.

Probably one of the hardest decisions is when it's time to buy presents for your loved ones. How much of your local currency is lagom? Who decides "just the right amount" price? I think the question instead should be "which presents can possibly express how much I care about him/her/them" and which one(-s) can I afford. Sometimes presents which don't cost much, even nothing, with a lot of thought behind communicate the your best intentions.

I am not yet sure if "NOT being lagom" can be applied to every aspects of life. I believe that the ups and downs in life make life so much more interesting and tasteful. I know a man, an old man, who in his lowest moments, needs to retract into his cave for long periods of times, even days, not lagom at all, and process things so that he can cope the challenges he faces. It took sometime for him to acknowledge and face the facts and when he eventually did, he was in peace with himself. He learned to appreciate even these low  periods of his life.

I can go on and on with a lot of different examples, I am sure you get the point. Instead it's time to "strap on a pair", stand up, held your head high and declare your intentions to someone you care. Hey why not today? If he/she/they are near by just go over, if they are not where you are give him/her/them a call. Be honest, be real, be yourself and be anything BUT lagom.

I have a warning for you; not being lagom can easily be perceived as arrogance some countries and/or cultures. Finding and acting with humility is a rare quality in human nature so take also that into consideration.

With all that said, who's with me? I dare you to take a stand against "lagom".

What you care is all that matters...

Life goes on, things just happen and when they do you have the dilemma in your hands. Do you care what other people think about you, your family, your looks, your work, your personal style, your profession, your life?

We are all individuals and we all have different take on this subject, of course. It's not up to me to tell you how anyone should behave and/or act in any given situation. Essentially, in order to survive and hopefully to enjoy and appreciate life we need to develop our own set of values when we face the inevitable, people having opinions about ourselves, our family, our looks, our work, our style, our profession, our life.

My take on this subject is obviously is based on my own experiences and by no means is the silver bullet. I merely hope to awake your curiosity, remind you to think about the subject and make you aware of the fact you and only you hold the key to your own answers. I found our the hard way that I, many years ago, payed attention and was affected the fact that others had opinions about me and the way I behaved.

I started digging at the library, yes a physical library where you can borrow books, and later on internet and have now an understanding my own belief system and how I can cope with it.

I understood that, I had to be the first person to convince and appreciate myself. I started very simply making notes, daily basis, things I considered as achievements during the day. I also looked at who I was. Some of my attributes were decided by coincidence, attributes like gender, age, country of origin, hair colour, nationality, name and so on, you get the picture. To put in another way, I happened to be born in year of 1966, in Kelkit, north eastern Türkiye as the first born child of turkish parents and was given the name Ergin. I had nothing to do with any of these, apart from the fact that I was the "best swimmer" of many many sperms. :-)

Where and how I was brought up of course affected my personality and my belief system. When I look back to my life, in my early teens I was aware of this notion, I couldn't articulate it well but I was aware. Now I take pride in the fact that I'm turkish and have later in life chose to be a love immigrant, moved to another country, Sweden, for love of my life.

Long story short, first step was to appreciate my self and build on that. I knew that if I was going to be any help to my family, friends and loved ones, I had to love my self. I had to change a few, well quiet many actually, of my own beliefs and paradigms. Some were simple and easy, others were complicated and painful. Take my word for it, it takes time and it helps to document, making notes.

Next step came rather naturally to me, by chance in later years. I have always liked to read about Rumi, a 13th-centry poet, jurist, theologian and Sufi mystic. One day, when my flight was delayed from Istanbul, I found his books and tapes in a store and later started reading and meditating. I nowadays do this when I am out running and the mystical music help me to visualize.

These two steps I mentioned above helped me ground myself and gave me the energy and strength start communicating to people around me and eventually the world who I was, who I wanted to be and how I wanted to get there. I felt confident, proud and in peace with myself.

I now track my achievements by sending letters to myself every 6 months (at least). I get the idea from a management training from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I also started practising the art of prioritization, which I learned from a dear friends of mine, meant actively choosing things I should not be doing, which basically meant saying "No". My son, my guru, Håkan, gave me valuable lessons on this topic and he still do. I'm privileged to have access to my guru daily basis. :-)

Obviously this topic is very dear to me and I probably can write more. I think I'll stop very soon by saying, "what you care is all that matters". It takes some alterations in your belief system and paradigms, the progress can take a while and sometimes it even can be painful. Your are hereby warned!!!

I wish you can find your answers at the library, at the internet and I hope you've got some pointers of my experiences. If you don't that's okey too.

Believe in yourself and be yourself. We human beings can cope with more than we think when it comes to it. Wishing you all the best!